My wandering ways, His loving way.

I sat down here a few hours ago and began to compose a poem like piece. I do not write poetry, but this is my heart. I have been struggling and I trust I am at a break through. Tonight I feel as if I may be able to see some Light. God is faithful to woo and draw us Himself. Thank You Jesus for Your great love. It always amazes me.

I sit, look back and ponder the  past years.
Oh my where have they gone?
Days full of joy and days spent in tears.
Every new day begins with a glorious dawn.
A morning to look into the Son.
As I rise, I realize the sence of His great hope.
Many times I have wanted to run,
What good is it to be at the end of my rope.
I’ll tell you why,
And there is no reason to sigh.
When I’ve found myself at my end,
Then and only then, will I begin to see,
I no longer need to contend.
The battle may rage, but here is my decree.
As I fight to see joy through my tears,
Jesus, You are still my victory.
On Calvary You took my fears.
Upon that tree, that wonderful cross.
Wonderful and terrible, You gave it all.
This was Your gain and not my loss.
On my own, I could only fall.
But through Your wonderful grace,
You came to deliver one as me.
Now as I look into your awestruck face,
I have no words as You’ve set me free.
My joy is in You, as I was for You.
Yet I cry because of my own undoing,
You always come to my rescue,
Words can not express Your pursuing.
I fall and fail time and again
But You are there with a watchful eye
‘Til I am through with my reign.
You seldom ask me “Why’?

“In Harm’s Way” Used with permission by Stephen Sawyer

Yet You take me as I am.

Broken and yet not humble or meek,
Like the straying little lamb;
You’ll set out to seek.
When I’m found
With Your rod, Your only desire is love.
Now that I’m carried and bound
Under Your arm, I’m so undeserving of.
But Your desire for me;
Is one of a relationship.
Untill I’m able to be set free,
There I’ll ride on Your shoulder in a tight grip.
Tears flow as reminders, continually hot;
As I watch and abserve another
But I know this is my chosen lot.
It is not for me to judge my brother. 
The love is forming within my heart
As my Lord, He cares for my in my pain.
He knew every intricate part
For the reason of this great gain.
The treasure of the lambs trust.
In His hands my life He did treasure and keep.
This I say is a valuable must,
No matter how I see the wound so deep.
Jesus is always there.
He is always the answer to my cry.
And no cross to hard to bear
As I learn to stay near by.
Jesus knows He is teahing me well
I don’t want to stray.
I ask my Lord, “Tie around my neck a bell?”
He replies, “I am not going away.”
“No my Lord. I don’t to go wandering.”
“No need to worry,” He spoke.
He left me as I was pondering.
He returned a bit later with an oxen yoke.
Puzzled, I asked, “What’s this for Lord?”
“There is much to learn and you still fear.
“In this you and I will learn to be of one accord.
You walk beside Me while I steer.”
I thought is was rather strange.
But then, oh the weight!
He stopped. “This needs to change.”
As He walk in a gentle gate.
We walked along as He carried most the load.
I would try to turn, I was tired of going that way.
We walked along this long narrow road.
I tried to learn it was better not to bray.
Yet I pushed and fussed.
I became uncomfortable and sore.
He said to me, “Just trust!”
This was a command I did not want to ignore.
We walked like this for days.
Where there were sores, now a callus.
Things no longer seemed to be a haze.
Jesus now had become my ballast.
I ask, “Why must I bear this callused mark?”
The reply stung me, this I was not ready to hear.
“It is a reminder of rebellion of the yokes arc.”
I stiffened as I thought I heard another sneer.
Dear One, do not allow this to stir you.
“By this you will be drawn away.
“What do you want to conform to?
“Come and I wills show and lead the way.”
“Stay close beside me, this is My desire.
Look not to the left or to the right.
“If you look to those that conspire,
“You will lose Me from your sight.”
“Learn of me, stay by my side.
“Your transformation is becoming glorious.
“Here at My side stay and daily abide.
“Here is where you will learn to be victorious.”
“By My side, as you abide you will learn
“To be gentle and humble.
“Do not for another yearn,
“There is no peace for those that stumble.”
“Come, learn of me.”
After this, where would or could I go.
I have been set free.
I would be tossed to and  fro.
I have been there.
It is a frightful place to say the least.
I’d be without a care
Because of the lie of the beast.
No! I say, I will stay!
Close by my Lord,
This is what I pray.
My hearts desire is to be of one with my Lord.
This relationship He desires.
Is where my heart longs to be reside.
My life is to do as He requires.
For Him I lay down my pride.
No longer my will but thine.
Have your way in me.
There is no longer a line.
Now I have also set You free.
Jesus do that what You will.
For my life is yours.
This is Your hearts thrill.
Lord I ask, “Come and sup through my hearts open doors.”

Again, I am not a poet by any means. I sat down a few hours ago and began to write. This is my heart.  Thank You Lord Jesus for Your awesome desire to have a relationship with me. You are continuing to draw me through many different aspects and avenues. I have struggled against You and that is not my hearts desire. My desire is to have an open heart. A heart and life where You can con and sit and talk and reveal Yourself to me any way you want.

There were several Scriptures that came to mind as I was writing this. Psalm 23; Matthew 11:28-30; Revelation 3:20; Psalm 37:5; Psalm 25; James 1:2-6; Hebrews 12:1-2. I am sure there are more you might think of as you read this.

Blessings to you all.