WILL YOU BE THERE? (FORGIVENESS)

This is a long post. Some will agree, while others will not. This is not the reason I am posting this. I am posting this for selfish reasons, freedom. My desire is to please the Lord above all things. I want to let go of the past and present with the utmost desire to forgive. I desire true forgiveness in my life. I have harbored the sin of unforgiveness far to long. Yes unforgiveness is sin. I apologize to you and to my Jesus, Lord and Savior. This story you might not understand, it had shown me some of my down falls.

John 3-16-17

Photo & Chosen Scripture by Candy Clonts

Alcoholism, I hate it, it’s a horrible addiction. It is like most any other addiction, deceptive and deadly.

Many people around an alcoholic will get hurt. The alcoholic not only damages their own body, but does seriously damages and injures those around them.

Alcoholics will eventually alienate themselves from everyone and everything. They will lose everything they hold dear. They will lose all drive and dreams in life as well as care and hope for any and everything. Their addiction will be everyone’s fault or responsibility but not theirs. They’ll eventually feel like the walking dead. They stop going through the motions of life. Why? It’s not worth it.

They do see the cliff of death ahead. They hear your screams to stop, “LOOK WHERE YOU ARE HEADED.” The rail car they are in keeps going faster and faster, the bridge is out at the cliff…..”JUST JUMP”, that’s all they need to do. They also feel they have burned too many bridges behind them, there’s no turning back. There’s nothing good ahead, nor is there any thing to go back for. So, if they stop or jump, where are those that were trying to get them to quit, to get off that run away rail car. Many times sad to say, doing what is important to them, just doing their own thing as before. So often this scenario is so true and those people who want something better for you seem to have lost interest. Abandonment, that is, “are leaving me?”, only until that person is well and going the direction they ought to.

Col 3

Photo & Chosen Scripture by Candy Clonts

We need each other. There are two sets of people who need healing, the alcoholic and those damaged by it. Healing starts with me, it starts with you, then the alcoholic. Forgiveness, is a great healing salve. Let go so you can heal and they can get a head start with you, with me.

It seems no one wants to come along-side and get their hands dirty for many reasons, but are they legitimate. Yes we need to let go so they can start seeing they are plummeting and quickly. But these also need sounding boards; someone to possibly yell at and for those who are getting lashed out at, will you still be there. To hold the hand that can not hold on any longer. Then walk away for a bit so they can begin to understand what they have done and said. Sometimes they might need someone to help them with the next step, because the view is growing dim and their feet are growing heavier with each step. Walk a step or two with them; your healing process needs to take place also. Be there and say “I love you” without any “but”, because that nullifies every positive thing just said. Then walk away again and so on.

We humans are so quick to be judge and jury, then hang each other out to dry and go our merry way. There seems to be no mercy in the end. At this time in my life I’m trying to come to the place where I can learn to have a God like manner. He is judge and jury, BUT He also has great mercy and compassion. I know I’ll never meet that goal, because I’m not God, but I want to aim to have forgiveness, love, grace and mercy for others as He has for me.

Photo & Chosen Scripture by Candy Clonts

Photo & Chosen Scripture by Candy Clonts

A great Scripture and story, if you will, is in Matthew 18:21-35. If you haven’t read it in a while please do so again, it is a great reminder of judgments, mercy, love and character.

*Coming alongside someone who has hurt you is not always the right thing to do, but forgiveness is. Forgiveness is freedom for you and the offender, no matter if they know it or not, you do; that is also a part of the freedom of forgiveness. Set yourself free, forgive. Don’t live in a self-made prison of unforgiveness. Unforgiveness leads to another kind of death, you don’t want that either. Live and live life the way God has intended….free in Him.

**Just a note – The story I have told you is true, but not with me specifically. Even though the one dealing with alcoholism does…it’s kind of weird how God has brought me around in such a way to acknowledge my lack, my sin, in not willing to let go and forgive. What bondage I have put myself in. Freedom has started today. Praise God! I thank the Lord for His continual grace on me, His grace has renewed my hope. Thank You, Jesus and all who are praying for me, longer than I would like to know, I’m sure…..quite a while. Ugh!!!!!

God bless you and thank you for “listening.” Pray for me as Jesus and I tackle this NEW journey of forgiveness. My desire is to give it over to Him, ALL of it.

Grace and Hope be yours through our Savior, Jesus,

Candy

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Sharing todays devotional with you. Parenting does hurt; the Lord knows it all too well.

*NOTE: ALL the BURGANDY print is my thought, words and added Scripture. (Pinchofgrace)

Today as I read this it brought back so many feelings and emotion. I have 2 adult sons. My son’s are 30 and 28, both married to beautiful young woman; my youngest son has a son also, my first, most ever handsome, heart dropping, 19 month-old grandson. I also have an almost 15 year-old, unbelievably, beautiful daughter. So I can say I have had a few too many knock down drag-outs; heart wrenching; cry yourself to sleep nights; and oh so many questions in career as a mom.

So many times I would ask myself, as a Christian mom, what did I not do right? How could I have taught them differently? What about this or that? How this or that? Why? How come? Where did I fall so short? And so on and on…..

I beat myself up so many times, I wish I had the bruise and scars to prove I was hurting. I would talk with my husband, he felt much the same. But I felt like I had no place to turn for help. I prayed and sought the Lord for direction, comfort and help. I found the Lord Jesus there so many times. His healing touch was so real and clear so often. BUT, I still hurt, and felt like a failure as a mom.

To so many of you moms (and dads) reading this, this devotions has some good advice and I am here to tell you take it, receive it, believe it and put these helps into practice in your life now.

People in our church did encourage me in a few of these areas and it did help. It took a long time before I really got over a lot of the guilt ad questions. I still felt like an outsider looking in. I felt helpless. I could not help my children when I wanted to rescue them. I knew they too would have to come around as the prodigal son had to. The Lord gave me Scripture and promises. I have hurt for all of my children for a vast amount of reasons through the years.

Maybe one day I will share some of the difficult situations and issues, but until then, I pray for so many of you tha I know and ones I do not. Parenting is not easy. As many of have been told along time ago, “Children do not come with manuals, it’s all trial and error.” But, I am here to say it doesn’t have to be completely that way. First of all, we do have a manual, The Word of God, The Bible. Second, parents, if you have done all you know to do by prayer, Scripture and godly advice and direction, the blame lies not at your door. Third, learn to trust the Lord in a way you never have before. Fourth, don’t shut people out, let people in, in whom you have a godly confidence. Fifth, if yu see or know of ones in this situation, pray for them, see what the Lord might have you do…maybe just to continue to pray. The Lord may also put it on your heart to come along-side this one and help. How can you help? The greatest thing you cn do is listen, don’t offer advice, unless asked and be very sure it is scripture based and from the Lord. I say Scripture based, because it is Scripture that encourages one another. We, parents already know much of the damage done, encourage in the Lord, not with more head-knowledge. Then listen some more and offer to pray with them. Our battles are won on our knees for our children and for ourselves concerning them. There is also a time we need to let our children go so that the Lord is able to deal with them…we need to get out of His way. This is another hurtful but necessary piece of parenthood. In letting go we need to forgive them and forgive ourselves. forgiveness is a great healer. Forgiveness is pride and it keeps us in bondage as well as our children are bound by our forgiveness.

(How often we feel this way as this song states…but it is all because of Who Jesus is.)

July 31: Parents In Pain


“Where did we go wrong?” Isn’t that the question you are asking yourself if you have offspring who are giving you fits? Kids grow up, make their own decisions, some of which are disastrous. Like us they sinners (and saved, they can choose to sin), (Romans 5:12 12 Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned: Romans 5:8-9 8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.) perfectly capable of rebelliously going their own way. (It does give peace when your child does know Christ as their Savior, but it still hurts.) In a society where everyone is blaming someone else and refusing to take responsibility for their own actions, don’t fall prey to unfounded accusations.

If you are struggling with a difficult situation with your teen or young adult here are a few words of encouragement and advice:

*I added the Scriptures to these points, the references were there, but for convince,I inserted them for you. (Pinchofgrace)

  • Realize you are not alone. Other parents have similar experiences. Most important, remember that God is with you. (Isaiah 41:10, 1310 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I amthy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.  13 For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.)
  • Find a few trusted friends to share your concerns and pain. Don’t hide them, or put on an everything is okay front. (Proverbs 17:17– A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.)
  • You are not obligated to explain your family situation to everyone. If curious people probe, merely ask them to pray. (Proverbs 10:19 – In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.).
  • If you know you have sinned against one or your children or treated them badly, confess it to them and to God, asking their forgiveness. (Proverbs 28:13 He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.).
  • Hold them accountable for their actions. God does. (Proverbs 20:11 – Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.).
  • Refuse to feel guilty or ashamed. Don’t let your children lay guilt upon you when you know you served God and them with integrity. (2 Timothy 1:12 12 For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day. Isaiah 50:7 7 For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed. Romans 15:13 13 Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost. -Scriptures added by Pinchofgrace)
  • Love them deeply. Be there for them, but don’t always rescue. (Luke 15:11-32  (I did not add this Scripture reference because of its length you should know the story, if not please take the time to get a Bible and read this passage it will be worth it to you.).
  • Wait and pray. God is a God of patience and hope. Wait for them to respond. In most cases there will be reconciliation. (Romans 12:12; Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; Romans 5:3-5 – 2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.)
  • Keep going and keep ministering. One of Satan’s tactics to attack our family. (Romans 11:29 – For the gifts and calling of God arewithout repentance.; Proverbs 24:10 If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small.).
  • Submit yourself to God’s sovereignty, both in your life and in the lives of your children. (Romans 8:28, 29 – 28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. 29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to beconformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.).

Keep in mind that God’s children, too, rebelled: “The Lord has spoken: I reared children and brought them up, but they have rebelled against Me‘” (Isaiah 1:2 – Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth: for the Lord hath spoken, I have nourished and brought up children, and they have rebelled against me.)

From the Devotional—Facts of the Matter

I trust these have been encouraging words to you and will help many of you.

I want to leave you with this…

I had a prodigal son. He left home at 16, he just hugged me and said ‘good-bye’, I did not know he was leaving, I thought he was just going out for the evening. I felt as if a part of me died that night. The story doesn’t end there…It took 16 years for him to tell me, “Mom, my life’s choices were not your fault. I chose what I chose. I did what I wanted to do. I blamed you because it was easier than facing the things I did as my fault. You were the best mom I could have ever had and you still are th best.”  This was just a short time ago. That day I was set free like never before. I feel I also had the Lord tell me that same night, “I have told you this all along, yet you chose to believe a lie.” I do not want to believe lies of the enemy, he has robbed me for too, too long. Please don’t allow him to rob you any longer. That son is not where I would like to see him in his relationship with the Lord….BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL!!!! He has brough u thus far and He will continue to do more. I know, believe…My God has promised. The story and journey continue for the both of us.

Lord bless you until next time.

(Amen! Teach me this in its fullness Lord.)

Correction hurts, but is good for us.

 

Dim Moon-lite Sky - photo by Candy Clonts

Isaiah 59:10
10 We grope for the wall like the blind, and we grope as if we had no eyes: we stumble at noonday as in the night; we are in desolate places as dead men.

Oh my heavens why post a verse like this. It is the truth.

When we do not allow judgements in our lives and receive them, we are like a blind man walking around trying to feel his way around. We continue to strive with ourselves and the Lord, we stumble and fall, again. We then feel absolutely lost and without cause or reason, we will eventually give up.

How can we stop stumbling  in the dark, turn on the Light. We need to get back where we once were. Fine! How?

Revelation 3:19
19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

Rebuke and chasten, in short, you might say, is not receiving God‘s judgements in our lives. God loves us enough to stop us, tell us what we are doing wrong, but the rest is up to us. We are to repent. We are to turn away from what we once were doing, go in the opposite direction, and that is back to the will of God. “Lord, why did this come about? What is it You are wanting me to learn in this? How do I do what You are requiring of me?

Seek the Lord

First of all, talk with Jesus. Tell Him you are sorry, truly sorry. Then ask Him what it is He wants from you and what you need to do from here. He will show you. God corrects those He loves. When you feel the sting of the correction, what are you going to do with it. Get angry and blame or accept the blame? Are you getting stiff-necked like Pharaoh and reject what the Lord wants of you? You can do that. Or, will you say, “Okay, Lord here I am, I have fallen and yet You are there, so where do I go from here, help me to turn away from what has displeased You, I desire for our relationship not to be hindered.” God will then jump with joy…My Dear One has returned, He will shout. Then the good things just begin, sweet fellowship with Jesus; unhindered fellowship with Jesus.

Hebrews 12:12-13
12 Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; 13 And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.

 These verses have taken me by surprise a few times. What these verse are really speaking are, let me show you in the Amplifed Bible and what it says there.

 

A life in Christ is a life of sacrifice of self.

Hebrews 12:11-13
11 For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it [a harvest of fruit which consists in righteousness—in conformity to God’s will in purpose, thought, and action, resulting in right living and right standing with God]. 12 So then, brace up and reinvigorate and set right your slackened and weakened and drooping hands and strengthen your feeble and palsied and tottering knees, 13 And cut through and make firm and plain and smooth, straight paths for your feet [yes, make them safe and upright and happy paths that go in the right direction], so that the lame and halting [limbs] may not be put out of joint, but rather may be cured.

In short what it is tells us, correction and discipline in our lives is not FUN but PAINFUL. I am sure we can all agree to that. But the results of it is far more wonderful IF we allow it to do its work in us. Stop with all the feelings, pouting, anger, pride and so on. Now just get up, get over it, wipe those tears, settle those emotions and do what is right before the Lord, turn to Him. 

Hebrews 12:1-6
1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, 2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. 4 Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. 5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: 6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

 We have hope. Much hope! Jesus and all the heroes of faith of  Hebrews chapter 11, are our great examples, our “clouds of witnesses.” they and Christ wet through what they did for something greater than themselves, a prize, a better thing (Heb. 11:39, 40). Jesus endure for the Joy that was set before Him. We are His joy. He is our prize, our goal.

Philippians 3:12-14
12 Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. 13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Christ Jesus is our prize. As long as we are in these human bodies we are going to have short comings, but we get up and press forward. Press forward to the high calling…our high calling is Christ Jesus Himself.

We have hope. We are shown grace and mercy. We are shown and given much love through Christ our Lord. Be not weary dear ones, but encouraged.

Before I leave you I want to tell you a story on this subject:

A little boy had to be taken out of the room full of family members over for Thanksgiving for misbehavior. His father had spoken to him several times. So dad picked up his son and took to the other room an dspanked the boy. The father then again asked his son why he had gotten the spanking and he told his father word for word what he had done and why he was taken to the other room. His father picked him up, hugged him and told him that was why he was spanked. Then his father kissed him and told him he loved him. As they returned to the room, walking out chipper and with a smile on his face, the boy passed his grandmother, she said, “Oh, I love you.” The little boy replied, “Not you too, Grandma.” 

The little boy knew he had disrespected his grandmother. It saddened him not that he was going to be spanked by her as well, but that he heard those words, “I love you.”

God doesn’t correct us out of anger but from a great love for us.

Lord bless you until later. Trust you rest in His great hope and enjoy His grace supplied for you.

**NOTE: The little story I just relayed to you may raise a few eyebrows concerning spanking. That is not my subject nor am I going to spend my time discussing it or debating it. I know some do not believe in spanking a child, spanking and abuse are two VERY  different things. The Bible is clear on the subject.