My Children, They Were Yours First, Lord.

One of the most difficult things for a parent or mom, like myself, is to let go of their children (and grandchildren) no matter their age. I don’t know about the Max Lucado book, but the quote speaks volumes to me today. I pray and say they are Yours Lord, then at times, POOF! I need to be reminded again to SURRENDER them to Him. I need to fully TRUST the Lord Jesus for my kids. They were His to begin with. Jesus WILL TAKE CARE OF THEM NO MATTER WHAT! They are still His children!

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

Will they get hurt? Yes! And sometimes I won’t be able to fix their hurts. Skinned knees, elbows, broken bones or deep gashes needing casts or stitches are easy and a no brainer. Life’s choices and situations….. You know I’m a mom who would like to fix and help my kids no matter what. Also at times when they don’t want it OR when I shouldn’t “lend a helping hand.” It is a very hard thing to do. It is hard making decisions and protecting our children. I am so glad I have a wonderful husband and daddy who has been there to help in more ways than I can not count and there are not enough thank you’s to say and express to/for him helping raise our three kids.

When they are young we want to put a bubble around them so NOTHING touches them. Sad to say, try with all you might, it is not going to happen. We might achieve a lot in doing this, but life and THINGS happen. Something always will. I have said time and time again, “as long as I have control over them, I will do my best to do what ever it takes to control their atmosphere.” Commendable I would say. But I was wrong in so many areas of that statement. So many. Yes I am to protect and help my children to the best of my God-given abilities. There are a “few” years I may sem like god to them. I teach them right from wrong. I teach them to be polite. I teach them manors. I teach them how to address people, “yes and no sir/mam.” I teach them to be honest and respectful of others and themselves. I teach them about Jesus and read His Word to them daily. I teach them to pray and pray with them daily…and when hurts and ouies happens. I teach them to go to church and how to sit still when the time comes. I teach them to be on time. I teach them to keep their word. I teach them the things of the Lord the best I can and reaffirm they belong to Jesus and they can call on Him no matter what, He is always there with them and for them. The list goes on and on in hopes I have raised and nurtured them the way the Lord desired. He only knows how many times I cried out for help and guidance, to know what to do, and I am grateful He heard me and I didn’t need to keep track of my pleading with Him for help. Did I do everything right…OH MY, I failed and floundered many times. By the grace of God we have survived thus far and have been truly blessed by life’s ups and downs, so a few things must have been don right. Thank You Jesus for all you have done and allowed in my families lives.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

You would think I would have learned to let go by now. I have two married sons, one is 33 and the other 31. I have a 3-1/2 year old grandson, by my youngest son and my daughter in law. I am also blessed with a daughter who is, almost 17. How time flies. I still get things turned around. It is not my job to KEEP them. I can still help lead them, if they ask or God instructs me to do so. Usually it’s right to intervene when I’m asked by them. But, well, I do flub up sometimes…ok, maybe a lot. Lord here I come again, take these whom you have so blessed and enriched my life, You be their guide and be their hedge and bubble (IF and When they need these), Lord, they are Yours. You can lead them and nurture them far better than I am able. They are the greatest giftYou have blessedme with….But they are still Yours and always will be.

I look back to when they were little I tried to shelter them, help them, educate them, equip them, protect them and lead them to You. My ways were not always the best. Hinds sight is 20/20. Out of my stubbornness to do things for them and raise my children “my way”, You still were able to get in there and redirect me and my thoughts. I thank You and praise You, Jesus, without Your intervention….well I don’t want to go there. Like I said, did I make mistakes, oh my YES, tons of them. Are my kids always doing what I’d like them to? NO! BUT GOD has shown Himself to be true, just, right and gracious to me and to my children all the time. Have I been hurt as a parent? OH YES! I have felt as if I’ve had my heart wrenched from chest, BUT GOD has always meet me. He has always been there to pick up me up and the shattered pieces. At times I thought they’d never be put back, but many things have been restored better than before. That IS God. I’m still waiting for some things, that job is His. My job is to pray and trust Him. NO, I not burrying my head in the sand, if I do, God still has eyes to see. He knows how to get my attention and He can get the attention of my children.

Deut 6:6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

Yes, we protect our children, but be careful you are not pushing the hand of God from your children’s lives OR from yours. I have learned the hard way, in my protection or helping my kids kept them from learning and taking things from the  Lord and it most definitely hindered my acceptance of Gods hand in my life as well. I believe if I as parent won’t allow God to touch my childrens heart and life at a young age, it will be more difficult to experience it as they get older. I always think of Samuel, when I think of letting go of my children. Hannah let go of her son long before he was born. Samuel always belonged to the Lord and Hannah NEVER lost sight of that fact. After the age of 3-5 years, Hannah returned to Jeruselm and left Samuel with Eli. Oh my! and she knew where she was leaving him. BUT TRUST WAS IN GOD. (1 Samuel ch. 1-2) I’m sure she had hard, trying moments, she was a mom for heaven’s sake. Although commentaries vary on the weaning age of Samuel…for us it is usually 18 months to two years our babies are weaned, she still trustd the Lord for her son. I don’t believe I have ever had that kind of trust…I definitely want to know Jesus in this kind of trust. As old as my kids are, I desire that kind of trust in The Lord more than ever.

Lord Jesus no matter how old my children are continue to teach me to surrender first myself to you and secondly my children to You.

God bless you all.

 

Mama’s Day is just around the corner….

Mother’s Day is just around the corner and I am getting a head start.

There are many special moms out there and I am sure yours is one of them.

I love my mama. I would not hae any other. thank you mama for all you have done and NOT done for me. All you have done is because you love me.

Proverbs 31:10 (KJV) ¹⁰ Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

Proverbs 31:28 (KJV) ²⁸ Her children arise up, and call her blessed; We as children think our parents are super heroes.

In reality we know they are not, but as old as have gotten I still tend to think so.I thank the Lord for the mom He blessed me with. She is precious to me and I know she is precious to te Lord.

More to come about my mama later. 😀

Lord bless you and your moms on this up coming celebration of her on this Mother’s Day, Sunday, May 12.Love and prayers to all of you,Candy                                                                                                                                                                                  SIMPLY PERFECT & SIMPLE ELEGANCE

This is me and my mama.

PS….                                                                                                                                        Every day should be a celebration to those you love! Remember that please. 🙂

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Sharing todays devotional with you. Parenting does hurt; the Lord knows it all too well.

*NOTE: ALL the BURGANDY print is my thought, words and added Scripture. (Pinchofgrace)

Today as I read this it brought back so many feelings and emotion. I have 2 adult sons. My son’s are 30 and 28, both married to beautiful young woman; my youngest son has a son also, my first, most ever handsome, heart dropping, 19 month-old grandson. I also have an almost 15 year-old, unbelievably, beautiful daughter. So I can say I have had a few too many knock down drag-outs; heart wrenching; cry yourself to sleep nights; and oh so many questions in career as a mom.

So many times I would ask myself, as a Christian mom, what did I not do right? How could I have taught them differently? What about this or that? How this or that? Why? How come? Where did I fall so short? And so on and on…..

I beat myself up so many times, I wish I had the bruise and scars to prove I was hurting. I would talk with my husband, he felt much the same. But I felt like I had no place to turn for help. I prayed and sought the Lord for direction, comfort and help. I found the Lord Jesus there so many times. His healing touch was so real and clear so often. BUT, I still hurt, and felt like a failure as a mom.

To so many of you moms (and dads) reading this, this devotions has some good advice and I am here to tell you take it, receive it, believe it and put these helps into practice in your life now.

People in our church did encourage me in a few of these areas and it did help. It took a long time before I really got over a lot of the guilt ad questions. I still felt like an outsider looking in. I felt helpless. I could not help my children when I wanted to rescue them. I knew they too would have to come around as the prodigal son had to. The Lord gave me Scripture and promises. I have hurt for all of my children for a vast amount of reasons through the years.

Maybe one day I will share some of the difficult situations and issues, but until then, I pray for so many of you tha I know and ones I do not. Parenting is not easy. As many of have been told along time ago, “Children do not come with manuals, it’s all trial and error.” But, I am here to say it doesn’t have to be completely that way. First of all, we do have a manual, The Word of God, The Bible. Second, parents, if you have done all you know to do by prayer, Scripture and godly advice and direction, the blame lies not at your door. Third, learn to trust the Lord in a way you never have before. Fourth, don’t shut people out, let people in, in whom you have a godly confidence. Fifth, if yu see or know of ones in this situation, pray for them, see what the Lord might have you do…maybe just to continue to pray. The Lord may also put it on your heart to come along-side this one and help. How can you help? The greatest thing you cn do is listen, don’t offer advice, unless asked and be very sure it is scripture based and from the Lord. I say Scripture based, because it is Scripture that encourages one another. We, parents already know much of the damage done, encourage in the Lord, not with more head-knowledge. Then listen some more and offer to pray with them. Our battles are won on our knees for our children and for ourselves concerning them. There is also a time we need to let our children go so that the Lord is able to deal with them…we need to get out of His way. This is another hurtful but necessary piece of parenthood. In letting go we need to forgive them and forgive ourselves. forgiveness is a great healer. Forgiveness is pride and it keeps us in bondage as well as our children are bound by our forgiveness.

(How often we feel this way as this song states…but it is all because of Who Jesus is.)

July 31: Parents In Pain

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“Where did we go wrong?” Isn’t that the question you are asking yourself if you have offspring who are giving you fits? Kids grow up, make their own decisions, some of which are disastrous. Like us they sinners (and saved, they can choose to sin), (Romans 5:12 ¹² Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned: Romans 5:8-9 ⁸ But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. ⁹ Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.) perfectly capable of rebelliously going their own way. (It does give peace when your child does know Christ as their Savior, but it still hurts.) In a society where everyone is blaming someone else and refusing to take responsibility for their own actions, don’t fall prey to unfounded accusations.

If you are struggling with a difficult situation with your teen or young adult here are a few words of encouragement and advice:

*I added the Scriptures to these points, the references were there, but for convince,I inserted them for you. (Pinchofgrace)

• Realize you are not alone. Other parents have similar experiences. Most important, remember that God is with you. (Isaiah 41:10, 13 – ¹⁰ Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I amthy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.  ¹³ For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.)
• Find a few trusted friends to share your concerns and pain. Don’t hide them, or put on an everything is okay front. (Proverbs 17:17– A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.)
• You are not obligated to explain your family situation to everyone. If curious people probe, merely ask them to pray. (Proverbs 10:19 – In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.).
• If you know you have sinned against one or your children or treated them badly, confess it to them and to God, asking their forgiveness. (Proverbs 28:13 ^– He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.).
• Hold them accountable for their actions. God does. (Proverbs 20:11 – Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.).
• Refuse to feel guilty or ashamed. Don’t let your children lay guilt upon you when you know you served God and them with integrity. (2 Timothy 1:12 ¹² For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day. Isaiah 50:7 ⁷ For the Lord GOD will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed. Romans 15:13 ¹³ Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost. -Scriptures added by Pinchofgrace)
• Love them deeply. Be there for them, but don’t always rescue. (Luke 15:11-32 – (I did not add this Scripture reference because of its length you should know the story, if not please take the time to get a Bible and read this passage it will be worth it to you.).
• Wait and pray. God is a God of patience and hope. Wait for them to respond. In most cases there will be reconciliation. (Romans 12:12; Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; Romans 5:3-5 – ² By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. ³ And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; ⁴ And patience, experience; and experience, hope: ⁵ And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.)
• Keep going and keep ministering. One of Satan’s tactics to attack our family. (Romans 11:29 – For the gifts and calling of God arewithout repentance.; Proverbs 24:10 – If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small.).
• Submit yourself to God’s sovereignty, both in your life and in the lives of your children. (Romans 8:28, 29 – ²⁸ And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. ²⁹ For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to beconformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.).

Keep in mind that God’s children, too, rebelled: “The Lord has spoken: ‘I reared children and brought them up, but they have rebelled against Me‘” (Isaiah 1:2 – Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth: for the Lord hath spoken, I have nourished and brought up children, and they have rebelled against me.)

From the Devotional—Facts of the Matter

I trust these have been encouraging words to you and will help many of you.

I want to leave you with this…

I had a prodigal son. He left home at 16, he just hugged me and said ‘good-bye’, I did not know he was leaving, I thought he was just going out for the evening. I felt as if a part of me died that night. The story doesn’t end there…It took 16 years for him to tell me, “Mom, my life’s choices were not your fault. I chose what I chose. I did what I wanted to do. I blamed you because it was easier than facing the things I did as my fault. You were the best mom I could have ever had and you still are th best.”  This was just a short time ago. That day I was set free like never before. I feel I also had the Lord tell me that same night, “I have told you this all along, yet you chose to believe a lie.” I do not want to believe lies of the enemy, he has robbed me for too, too long. Please don’t allow him to rob you any longer. That son is not where I would like to see him in his relationship with the Lord….BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL!!!! He has brough u thus far and He will continue to do more. I know, believe…My God has promised. The story and journey continue for the both of us.

Lord bless you until next time.

(Amen! Teach me this in its fullness Lord.)